RobGspot

Wendy's = Brilliant

2011-01-15T13:17:00.000-08:00

Last night, neither my husband or myself felt like cooking. That usually means I am making a stop at the lovely Wendy's up the street. I pulled into the drivethru and checked out the menu board (as if I don't have it memorized, but the employees don't need to think I'm a regular at their fine establishment). A woman's voice came through the speaker asking for my order. I asked her for just a minute so I could see which wonderful menu items I wanted to pollute my body with.

Before I could finish asking her to "please hold", a man's voice interrupted and said "hi, what can I get you, mam?". Now, I don't have the manliest of voices, filled with bass and testosterone, but I don't exactly speak in a falsetto either. I began my order in my apparetly womanly voice. When I requested that they leave the onions off one of the menu items if it did have them, my request was met with, "sure, but it DOESN'T have them anyways!!". Mortified at my apparently audacious and OBVIOUSLY foolish mistake, I finished my order and was told "1st window". When I pulled up, the manager told me the price and informed me "2nd window BOSS".

Now I can deal with "mam"... simple mistake. But boss?! I hate boss. I hate boss, champ, captian and pretty much any false professional title a douchebag labels you to show you just how douchey he truly is. I bit my tongue and pulled up to the 2nd window per my apparent subordinate's request. I thanked the nice lady for my food and stared her down as she looked like she was going to forget my drinks. I then pulled away (after checking the bags - I KNOW how Wendy's likes to do) and arrived home to deliver dinner to the family. What a lovely "wife" I am!

The F-Bomb dropped in the Valley... no, not that F-bomb

2011-01-09T16:44:00.000-08:00

On a lovely, winter afternoon on our way to get gas, we had a bit of an adventure. My husband and I prefer to get gas a little bit further down the road from our house, as it is cheaper. These our tough times! Apparently more so than we thought... With my husband behind the wheel, off we went!

Now I know that some people forget rules when they have been driving for a long time. You forget to put on a blinker every now and then, you forget that you shouldn't pass on the right... little things. However, when you are at a 4-way intersection with stoplights and you are turning left (without an arrow mind you), you should probably remember that you do not have the right of way - especially when there is a car opposite you going straight or taking a right. We, of course, happened to be the latter in this situation.

My husband (with his blinker on) went to turn right, though we noticed a large, broken down, red van turning left as we were doing so. Now, we very well could have overseen this traffic violation and simply waited for them to complete their turn. No, no. It was pertinent that they were made aware of their driving faux pas.

We continued into the turn, as if they were not there (slowing down of course - we did not want to actually cause an accident, just show them that they were in the wrong). The frantic woman in the passenger seat of the van began making us aware of her discontent with our actions with her hands. Perhaps she was Italian.

As luck and fate would have it, our new friends happened to be going to the same gas station we were! My anxiety begins to kick in. I know my husband very well and I know that if a single thing is said, things will not be good. I got out of the car with him as he went to pump gas just in case one of these upstanding citizens wanted to do, or say something foolish. Such a situation arose.

It was fine at first, but Barbara-Sue (example picture in this post) decided she needed something from the store inside (perhaps Skoal). She not-so-gently told us that we needed to stop speeding. Speaking was her first mistake. Speaking loudly to us was her second. Hubby informed Barbara that she needs to learn how to drive. She informed us that she did, in fact, have her license, though hubby let her know that it should be taken away and questioned her on whether or not she has heard of the term "right of way".

She apparently had, though had a skewed understanding as to what it meant, because she told us that she had the right of way. I, at this point, felt the need to step in and educate her, letting her know that you do not have the right of way when turning left while someone else is trying to go right or straight. After further insisting that we were speeding, husband-of-mine asked her to produce the radar gun that she had apparently been clocking us with, though she could not do so. Barbara-Sue continued to bicker with hubby, though was losing steam and running out of fake facts to throw at us. She ended with her strongest and most adult-like retort that she could think of ("Whatever") and walked into the store.

Meanwhile, the absent husband of the illustrious beauty we had just finished conversing with decided it was time to make an appearance. From behind, I saw a tall, slender man, who looked like he could be a middle-aged gentleman containing the intelligence and tact his blushing bride lacked. However, he turned around revealing a weathered face and long gray beard that any Renaissance Fair wizard would be envious of. The Backwoods Wizard again, began to lecture us on our speed, as we again, requested that he learn how to drive.

Growing weary of our verbal battle, my husband, whom at this point I was pretty sure was not a white male, but in fact a black woman reincarnated (I had my suspicions before, though this situation confirmed in), told Backwoods Wizard to "kick rocks" (get moving). The wizard went behind his abnormally long van and uttered that magical word; the word that let's the recipients of said word know that the person has nothing left to say and is defeated... "faggots".

For some reason, I was surprised. After being comfortable for so long, you forget that stupid people exist (well, you never forget that, but this is a special kind of stupid). Hubby and I laughed a little, but were none too pleased. The wizard was informed that he should keep moving and that "50 cents will do" (which I later learned was a phrase that meant it would only take 50 cents of gas to burn the man). I did not ask my husband any questions, but got in the car and stored the threat in my head to ask about later.

The man said nothing else and his elegant wife remained in the store. We drove off and recounted the situation. We continued on our merry way (to Walmart, where we saw several more Backwoods Wizard-type folk) and then to GameStop (where my husband impressed me thoroughly by purchasing a video game for himself).

All in all, it was a lovely Sunday. The lesson we must learn from this delightful situation is that ignorance is not yet dead - rather somewhat dormant, lying within the brilliant, modern, light-hearted residence of the Valley.

Adventures in Hotlanta

2010-10-15T06:29:00.000-07:00

Traveling is fun!

Thank goodness for taxis, because sometimes you just don't know where you are going. On my recent excursion to the ATL, one of said cabs was forced to drop me off a little further from my requested destination than I was comfortable with. "The streets are closed", said Nihailashi Mikhailashimitoso (barely an exaggeration). He pointed me in what I assumed was the correct direction and I walked.

Furious that the streets were closed when I needed to be somewhere, I stopped and viewed the commotion with the other townspeople. They were all looking up so I did the same. I noticed a gentleman on top of a very tall building just walking around. Apparently he was threatening to jump. We will revisit this later.

I began looking for my destination through strange underground passages and alleys and managed to find it. After a sweaty night that involved blood and a runny nose (AND a crystal clear view of "the jumper" on the next building over) it was time to go back to the hotel.

A lovely gentleman came to pick me up for the next leg of my journey. He was smoking a cigarette and bestowing his infinite wisdom upon me. He had lived in Atlanta for 48 years - he moved from a remote location in the Bible Belt at the age of 2. He informed me that where he was from, it is impossible to find a strip joint, OR get a prostitute!! After pondering what kind of drab and boring location he moved away from, he continued to tell me where I could find these women of the night (Birmingham Alabama or somewhere in Mississippi if you are interested).

He didn't just talk about himself though (he was a TRUE gentleman)! He asked me about myself and where I came from. After sharing that I was from beautiful, bright and sunny CT, he gave me even MORE of his incredible advice. "Connecticut is pretty cold you know" (I didn't know that) "You need a fat girl to keep you warm!". When I expounded upon the coldness and icy roads, he trumped me again with his vast intelligence and let me know, "You need two fat girls to keep you warm then".

Satiated with information, I finally exited the taxi (we had been at the destination for awhile now, though he felt the need to inform me about all the dangerous parts of Atlanta and how many weapons he carries on his person, one of which being a knife that is "this big"). After a Nyquil induced slumber, I awoke and left for the airport, only to see that the suicidal jumper from earlier in my excursion, was talked off the roof by the one and only T.I. (whom I had mentioned to my sister-in-law earlier on Facebook - I let her know I secured a spot for him in his next music video).

What a trip!

Intro

2009-11-13T09:32:00.001-08:00

Hello all! Welcome to the

In my time in radio, I got to have some fun with audio. I had the opportunity to write, voice, edit and produce parodies, creative bits, as well as commercials. Though some were very time/current events specific (and therefor may not make too much sense right now), here are some of them.

*Please note that these were produced for a specific audience as a part of my job, and therefor some of the content may skew slightly more adult.

Character Voice Demo

2009-11-13T06:34:00.001-08:00

A fun part of my job was the opportunity to provide character voices for spots, parodies, and different on-air characters.

Below is my character voice reel:

Radio Imaging

2009-11-13T06:11:00.001-08:00

Another fun thing I got to do was radio imaging. Below are a few examples (some for 92 Pro FM - out of Rhode Island, and some for KC101 - out of Connecticut).

Tom Cruise

2009-11-13T05:40:00.000-08:00

Tom Cruise's sexuality has been in question for a long time. Here, he gives us his very intimate response.

Super Tactical Divas

2009-11-12T08:10:00.001-08:00

I took the audio for this right off the radio, so the DJ (Michael Maze) sets up the skit. The Super Tactical Divas consist of Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, and Lindsay Lohan. They fight "crime" and save the day. This is just one of their adventures that they encountered:

Ambiguous

2009-11-05T11:29:00.000-08:00

I think this just stemmed from a strange broadcast we did at Hula Hanks in New Haven one night. Pretty self-explanatory:

2009-11-05T11:24:00.000-08:00

Poor Lindsay Lohan! Driving accidents, getting caught with coke, drinking too much... all at the same time, Hillary Duff and Joel Madden are breaking up, Nicole Richie is having Joel's baby, Paris is... being Paris, and Britney is winning mother of the year. Can Lindsay learn from all of these other girls' mistakes, or will she simply seek comfort in her girlfriend DJ Samantha Ronson?!

Britney Spears - I Have Shaved

2009-11-05T11:10:00.000-08:00

Oh Britney! When the pressure of being rich, famous and successful got to be too much for our favorite pop star, Britney did the only logical thing: Shave her head, attack the paparazzi, rent out an entire wing of a rehab facility, and offer her ex (K-Fed) a whopping $1,000 to let her keep her multiple babies!

Nicole Richie

2009-11-05T10:58:00.000-08:00

Nicole Richie has been very bad! Drinking and driving is never ok, Nicole! What would happen if Nicole was actually sentenced? Could her SUPER famous boyfriend Joel Madden come to the rescue? Will any other celebrities come to the rescue?